Making Plans

Hi all,
Last week is finally over, it was torture. Now this week it's times to start all over again, fresh and clean.

When Steven came, he new right from the start that something wasn't right. I tried to tell him how I felt, and that I felt very disappointed that everyone could live my dreams but me, and that I was gellous, well, he already figured that out when we were talking about some appartments where 4 or 5 people share the same roof, and I brought Morgan up all of a sudden.
I think that now he finally realized that I can't stand seeing him with her, and it's not because I don't want him to be with girls, but because he and Morgan have too much in common, and therefore more things to talk about than we do., that when he's with her it makes me feel like I'm standing in between, like if they could make a perfect couple if I wasn't in the way.
But anyway, this weekend he didn't even talk to her on the phone, the point was to try to get her out of my mind, or at least, shake that maddening feeling of geloucy out of my heart.
He started by telling me that we will go to Dallas sometime, when we have time to actually do stuff and get with his family. He also said that Morgan won't be living in our dream-home whatsoever, if her boyfriend kicks her out, and she can't find a job, he said she'll go back to Alaska with her family.
After all, she has a 2 year old daughter, and neither Steven or I have the time to take care of her and all of the problems this 2 girls have been giving us during our vacation.
In short, we'll have a happy, safe and very wonderful dream-home.
He also talked about our future, things like, if he married me how it would affect my residence and citizenship status, and things in the near future, like moving in to a place where it can be easier for him to get to work and for me to go to school.
He's already started to work on our dream-home, and he has someone to help him look for an apartment that is afordable and convenient for both of us.
He brought his peeny-wistle again and I helped him learn how to play one of the beautiful songs on the CD.
He worked at it so hard, to the point where his thumb started hurting and I could tell how much effort he put into that thing, that when he wanted to watch a scary movie (and you know I really hate scarry movies more than anything else), I felt like he deserved to watch whatever the hell he wanted to and told him it was OK, after all that work.
Playing a musical piece with a new instrument is not as easy for him as it is for me because before he became blind he was a very visual person, and now he has to learn almost everything by hearing, but it is a challenge he decided to take because he really wants to learn to play this little thing. He has a friend, Luis, whom he used to think, played really good. But now that he learned this beautiful song, when his friend hears it I bet he'll be surprised, and I'll be more proud of him than ever before.
He left his CD on my CD player, so that when he started watching the movie I put my headphones on and start listening to it.
When I couldn't stand it anymore, I left the room and put some music on my computer and began to sing and dance. He then came outside to smoke and then I came along with him, and when we came back in the house, the computer was playing "Your voice". I started singing it to him, he then lift me up and when he put me back down and went to the room to watch his movie, I was singing and dancing louder and wilder.
It was in an hour or 2 when, realizing that my computer can wait, I turned it off and, hearing that he was still waching another movie, began to check my email but there was nothing there either.
He must have realized that because it was quiet or because he might've heard the goodnight message he recorded for my computer to play when it shuts down, I was getting bored and wanted him rather than my computer. He came out of the room, to my surprise, naked, and after going to the bathroom he came to hug me and I was lost in his embrace again.
"you don't have to be here, baby", he said, "you can come to bed with me and I can turn the movie off". How could I resist the temptation to come home to him? I accepted his offer and went to the room, back into his arms that are mine to build my home around.
He stopped the movie, held me tight, and put me to sleep with the same tenderness and sweetness as he always did. I could say that I literally "slept tight".
We woke up early in the morning, and then we cuddled in bed for a while until he went outside to talk to Cokie about my dream-home and then I guess Cokie must have told him about how I felt about the whole Dallas thing because of the conversation she and I had after he left.
I got dressed, washed up, etc, and went out to meed them. Then I heard them talk more about my dream-home.
I then came out with him and went back to the room to talk about our plans. He told me about the apartments he have found so far and how he's trying so hard to find one at a convenient area that follows the busline to where he would work.
He also talked about co-ups, small apartments where more than 4 or 5 people share a bathroom and kitchen, but pointed out that I might get gellous if he would live in one of those with a bunch of girls in underware. Also, let's not forget the fact that if those girls see his handsome body, they might fall in love with him, and my heart would break.
We stayed there for a while, laughing and kissing and talking to each other, and telling each other how much we love one another.
He told me, "don't you be forgetting it either". I knew what he meant, that when I notice myself starting to get gellous I just remember that he loves me, that always makes my heart feel better.
I put my hand in his heart and started feeling for those little signs telling me how much he loves me, and now it seemed to be telling me: "whatever happens, don't worry, here you have found your home".
I couldn't stop smiling at him.
Then he told me that next Saturday he won't be here, but that he might come Friday night depending on how he feels because he's going to that game party.
Just in case he doesn't come, I will see if I could find something else if not I'd get a friend to talk to me on the phone and help me not feel so lonely.
Then it was time for him to wait for his bus, so he left and I closed the door behind him, but stood there listening to him leaving, counting every step until I couldn't hear him anymore. It was about a minute and a half before I went back to the room.
After that, Cokie and I talked for a while and she asked me if I have talked to him about how I felt about the whole Dallas thing, and I told her I tried to.
She told me that he told her that he only needed Morgan to drive him around so that he doesn't have to spend more money than he has to. That made a whole lot more sense now, and even if she's not totally out of my mind yet, I feel a whole lot better than before about all this.


ACC news:
Starting tomorrowI won't have that class in the mornings, so Iwon't have to wake up so early, except for test or stuff likethat.
I have a test tomorrow, got to study.
Success: I'm finally going to get my book scanned, that's excellent!

More updates next week,