Thursday, December 18, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Bored
Hay again.
I just want to express my feelings about this whole thing with this blog, and one thing that really concerns me is that, other than my birthday and our anniversary, our relationship has become pretty boring and monotonous. It seems as if the only thing we are both sharing is the room and the bed, we don't share the same dream, we only talk for a few minutes before he starts playing the game again or puts his book on, and then he cuddles with me for a few minutes at night before he goes to bed no later than 10:00, and when we wake up is the same thing all over again.
I just want to express my feelings about this whole thing with this blog, and one thing that really concerns me is that, other than my birthday and our anniversary, our relationship has become pretty boring and monotonous. It seems as if the only thing we are both sharing is the room and the bed, we don't share the same dream, we only talk for a few minutes before he starts playing the game again or puts his book on, and then he cuddles with me for a few minutes at night before he goes to bed no later than 10:00, and when we wake up is the same thing all over again.
Well, almost always. I must acknoledge that he did sing to me on Friday before I went to the bookstore with Cokie to help her wrap Christmas presents, and today he bought me dinner and we talked a little bit more than we had in weeks.
I think he is now beginning to notice that I do get dissappointed when he spends most of his time in the game and his books, so today he surprised me when he got on the game a little later than usual, and did not turn his book back on when the battery ran off last night. That's a plus for him!
However, today he almost broke my heart when he said that he wouldn't date me anymore for being too expensive ... it was a joke, but still, he almost did. I knew it was a joke because as soon as I left the room and was on my way to the bathroom to cry for him, he stood in front of me, put his arms around me to stop me, hugged me, an said: "Where are you going? come here"!
Then we ordered Mexican food, I got me some type of rice and beans that reminded me of mom's rice and beans, but it was called a "ditch bowl". It reminded me of that saying, "I'm in a ditch and can't get out", from "magnificent obsession", I loved it!
After that he wanted to look for some sounds on my computer and then he went back to listen to his book.
News: Mom said I could stay here in Austin until Sunday, so I've changed my ride for Sunday afternoon, so we can have our usual Sunday morning before I leave.
Last minute news: I finally convinced him about going to walk around in the mall or do something fun before I leave. I won't be seeing him for a month unless I can come sooner than January 18, and there is very little chance that I will be able to, like I told my friends, "I'm gonna die"!
Anyway, I have to go so that I can dance a little more before going to sleep, (early). I have to wake up early tomorrow because I have my A T U at 8:00 and I don't know how long it's going to last, and then we'll talk about a date for Friday, I'm think going to the mall is a good start to get him to try new things.
Laters:
Claudia ... one hour on the clouds, then one on a ditch, stuck, not knowing what to do.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
This year's Anniversary Poem: I Remember
I remember the first day,
the first day we met,
the very first day,
your voice I heard,
and the wonderful feeling, in my heart I felt, so strong, so beautiful, since we first met.
I remember the first day,
the first day you kissed me,
the very first time,
your arms wrapped around me,
the first time you told me that you loved me,
it felt so wonderful to hear this from you,
and I was so happy, because I love you too.
I've loved you from the minute I heard your voice,
it's just like breathing, I don't have a choice,
and I will love you, now and forever,
and this precious day, I will always remember.
the first day we met,
the very first day,
your voice I heard,
and the wonderful feeling, in my heart I felt, so strong, so beautiful, since we first met.
I remember the first day,
the first day you kissed me,
the very first time,
your arms wrapped around me,
the first time you told me that you loved me,
it felt so wonderful to hear this from you,
and I was so happy, because I love you too.
I've loved you from the minute I heard your voice,
it's just like breathing, I don't have a choice,
and I will love you, now and forever,
and this precious day, I will always remember.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Our Anniversary, December 7
Our Anniversary was one of the most uver-coolio special days of our relationship. It was even more coolio to know that I was the one who had it all planned, so if you want to talk about coolioness, this was the day!
After my birthday, which is when I thought this out, I was still very excited and still had that festive spirit. And besides, I knew I was going to celebrate the day in which Steven came into my life, so I had to make it special.
I was thinking about maybe, making him a special dinner, or breakfast in bed, etc, but I didn't know what to make for the dinner and breakfast in bed sounded pretty boring.
I decided it had to be something more.
After I came home for my birthday, mom gave me some peruvian candy, so I thought he might like it, I just had to get a giftbag to put it in. Ah, but then I went to the L Y C page and looked at those beautiful anniversary cards, and I thought, "I have to get him a card like that, or I won't forgive myself", so I asked my mobility teacher to take me to Wallgreens on Friday to buy that card, and to see what else I could find.
So there I was, except that I again forgot the stupid debit card, just like I did when I went to the bus station.
I told the guy that was helping me at Wallgreens that I was going to buy the card and then an anniversary gift for my boyfriend.
Well, he read me the cards and helpedme pick one up, and I chose one that said: "Happy You and Me day", and that has a beautiful love poem that I don't really remember but it was very sweet. The card also looked very nice, and with it, came a little envelopefor me to put a note inside and I thought: "coolio, I could write him an anniversary note". Then we went to look for a gift, I had nothing in mind so I just said I wanted to give him something nice. We looked, looked and looked, and then we found a nice massage pillow, and I thought: "He's really lazy so he might like that", so I went to check it out, and it was then when I realized that I forgot the stupid card.
Luckily, I had a $20 bill in my pocket, so I thought, "Candy, he likes candy", and went to the candy section. I knew they had chocolate, all the stores have chocolate around, and then I remember how he was talking about peanut butter the other day, and I thought, "Peanut butter cups", so I bought him 2 of them, get it? two for two?
Anyway, when I was pretty sure he was going to like the gift, I bought a giftbag to put them in, then I checked it all out andcame back home.
I hid the gift beside my computer and waited for him to go smoke, and then I ran to the room and got the peruvian candy and a peace of paper in which to write my note. I finally got one from my calendar, it had holes punched at the top but I cut them off when I finished the note. I wrote:
"My life was always sad and blue,
until the day I met you". At the bottom I drew 7 hearts, and wrote: "Happy Anniversary my love"."
I arranged the gift, the peruvian candy on one side of the bag, the card and not in the other, the peanut butter cups at the bottom, then I stuffed it all in the shopping bag and put it in the fridge, in the bottom drawer.
The next morning I talked to Cokie and she suggested that I take him out to dinner at the Catfish Parlor.
I had already set up a ride and everything, but they gave me a cab baucher so we had to take a cab.
I was excited and looking foreward to celebrating our day.
I stayed up with Cokie until a little after midnight, then reluctantly went to sleep.
The next morning, when he kissed me and told me: "Happy Anniversary baby," and I told him "Happy Anniversary to you too my love", Iwas so, but so excited it seemed like I have been waiting for this day forever instead of just a year.
I got up, went to the computer, and waited just for the right time to procede with the next step of the plan.
While he was out smoking with Luis and Cokie was in her room listening to her book, I closed Cokie's door, got the gift out of the fridge and out of the shopping bag. Then I got the card out of the bag and decided to give it to him separately, (no point on giving it to him along with the gift if he couldn't read it), instead, I put it on the table and sang "forever and for always" while I waited for him ro come in.
After a couple more minutes, he did, and I turned the music down, stood in front of him, got the gift, and gave it to him saying "1, 2, 3, happy anniversary".
He said he loved it!
Then he called me into the room to help him with the card, and he loved the Peruvian candy.
I was so happy I started to write an anniversary poem, "I remember".
Then I told him we were going to the catfish parlor in the evening, and even though he was sick, he decided to go with me, so we went. He even told me I could dress up for the occasion, so I did. I was wearing a very dressy sparkly dressing shirt top that was really coolio, my pretty pants that he likes, my shoes with sparkly little beeds at the top, my favorite bracelet, my 3 star bracelet, my new necklace and earrings. I felt pretty and wanted to dance really bad.
So we went, Except for it wasn't the catfish parlor, but the applebees.
I called us a cab and we got a very cool driver who took us all around the block to find that stupid restaurant, but when Steven called them we got the surprise that it was the corporate office. We went to another catfish parlor close by, but they said it was closed, "Major crap", I thought when he said, "OK, then take us bach home". "It's all over, we're going home, we're going back to bed, what an anniversary!".
Then suddenly he said, "do you know if there's an applebees or a venigans around here?", it was just the right question at the right time at the right place, and she took us to the applebees that was cloce by.
We got off and got there, he got us a booth for both of us, and then he had a very ffat cheesy burger with chees-stick, his favorite, and I got me a very extra special asian salad with almonds that I found on the menu. As soon as I read it, I thought "Almonds", and ordered it immediately.
We ate our special dinner joyfully, as if we were already happily ever after, and then we just stayed there talking for a few more minuts and enjoying the night while we waited for the check.
Then I paid for our meals (he always does), and then we came back home.
I told him how bad I needed to dance, and he said I could stay up till 2:00 even if I woke Luis up, and I loved it, though I wish I would've done more dancing.
Cokie came home late, but when she did, she looked at me and thought I looked beautiful. I had to agree with her, I not only looked beautiful; I felt beautiful.
After 2, I played our anniversary song "Breakfast to Tiffany's", and went to bed, and woke up at 11:30 the next day.
It was such an extraordinary night, and I have a feeling that our love will last forever.
Laters:
Claudia, more and more in love!
After my birthday, which is when I thought this out, I was still very excited and still had that festive spirit. And besides, I knew I was going to celebrate the day in which Steven came into my life, so I had to make it special.
I was thinking about maybe, making him a special dinner, or breakfast in bed, etc, but I didn't know what to make for the dinner and breakfast in bed sounded pretty boring.
I decided it had to be something more.
After I came home for my birthday, mom gave me some peruvian candy, so I thought he might like it, I just had to get a giftbag to put it in. Ah, but then I went to the L Y C page and looked at those beautiful anniversary cards, and I thought, "I have to get him a card like that, or I won't forgive myself", so I asked my mobility teacher to take me to Wallgreens on Friday to buy that card, and to see what else I could find.
So there I was, except that I again forgot the stupid debit card, just like I did when I went to the bus station.
I told the guy that was helping me at Wallgreens that I was going to buy the card and then an anniversary gift for my boyfriend.
Well, he read me the cards and helpedme pick one up, and I chose one that said: "Happy You and Me day", and that has a beautiful love poem that I don't really remember but it was very sweet. The card also looked very nice, and with it, came a little envelopefor me to put a note inside and I thought: "coolio, I could write him an anniversary note". Then we went to look for a gift, I had nothing in mind so I just said I wanted to give him something nice. We looked, looked and looked, and then we found a nice massage pillow, and I thought: "He's really lazy so he might like that", so I went to check it out, and it was then when I realized that I forgot the stupid card.
Luckily, I had a $20 bill in my pocket, so I thought, "Candy, he likes candy", and went to the candy section. I knew they had chocolate, all the stores have chocolate around, and then I remember how he was talking about peanut butter the other day, and I thought, "Peanut butter cups", so I bought him 2 of them, get it? two for two?
Anyway, when I was pretty sure he was going to like the gift, I bought a giftbag to put them in, then I checked it all out andcame back home.
I hid the gift beside my computer and waited for him to go smoke, and then I ran to the room and got the peruvian candy and a peace of paper in which to write my note. I finally got one from my calendar, it had holes punched at the top but I cut them off when I finished the note. I wrote:
"My life was always sad and blue,
until the day I met you". At the bottom I drew 7 hearts, and wrote: "Happy Anniversary my love"."
I arranged the gift, the peruvian candy on one side of the bag, the card and not in the other, the peanut butter cups at the bottom, then I stuffed it all in the shopping bag and put it in the fridge, in the bottom drawer.
The next morning I talked to Cokie and she suggested that I take him out to dinner at the Catfish Parlor.
I had already set up a ride and everything, but they gave me a cab baucher so we had to take a cab.
I was excited and looking foreward to celebrating our day.
I stayed up with Cokie until a little after midnight, then reluctantly went to sleep.
The next morning, when he kissed me and told me: "Happy Anniversary baby," and I told him "Happy Anniversary to you too my love", Iwas so, but so excited it seemed like I have been waiting for this day forever instead of just a year.
I got up, went to the computer, and waited just for the right time to procede with the next step of the plan.
While he was out smoking with Luis and Cokie was in her room listening to her book, I closed Cokie's door, got the gift out of the fridge and out of the shopping bag. Then I got the card out of the bag and decided to give it to him separately, (no point on giving it to him along with the gift if he couldn't read it), instead, I put it on the table and sang "forever and for always" while I waited for him ro come in.
After a couple more minutes, he did, and I turned the music down, stood in front of him, got the gift, and gave it to him saying "1, 2, 3, happy anniversary".
He said he loved it!
Then he called me into the room to help him with the card, and he loved the Peruvian candy.
I was so happy I started to write an anniversary poem, "I remember".
Then I told him we were going to the catfish parlor in the evening, and even though he was sick, he decided to go with me, so we went. He even told me I could dress up for the occasion, so I did. I was wearing a very dressy sparkly dressing shirt top that was really coolio, my pretty pants that he likes, my shoes with sparkly little beeds at the top, my favorite bracelet, my 3 star bracelet, my new necklace and earrings. I felt pretty and wanted to dance really bad.
So we went, Except for it wasn't the catfish parlor, but the applebees.
I called us a cab and we got a very cool driver who took us all around the block to find that stupid restaurant, but when Steven called them we got the surprise that it was the corporate office. We went to another catfish parlor close by, but they said it was closed, "Major crap", I thought when he said, "OK, then take us bach home". "It's all over, we're going home, we're going back to bed, what an anniversary!".
Then suddenly he said, "do you know if there's an applebees or a venigans around here?", it was just the right question at the right time at the right place, and she took us to the applebees that was cloce by.
We got off and got there, he got us a booth for both of us, and then he had a very ffat cheesy burger with chees-stick, his favorite, and I got me a very extra special asian salad with almonds that I found on the menu. As soon as I read it, I thought "Almonds", and ordered it immediately.
We ate our special dinner joyfully, as if we were already happily ever after, and then we just stayed there talking for a few more minuts and enjoying the night while we waited for the check.
Then I paid for our meals (he always does), and then we came back home.
I told him how bad I needed to dance, and he said I could stay up till 2:00 even if I woke Luis up, and I loved it, though I wish I would've done more dancing.
Cokie came home late, but when she did, she looked at me and thought I looked beautiful. I had to agree with her, I not only looked beautiful; I felt beautiful.
After 2, I played our anniversary song "Breakfast to Tiffany's", and went to bed, and woke up at 11:30 the next day.
It was such an extraordinary night, and I have a feeling that our love will last forever.
Laters:
Claudia, more and more in love!
Sunday, December 07, 2008
since he moved in
I could have never been luckier than this last couple of weeks, when almost everything worked quite as planned.
Steven Came home on the 22nd, just a little after 10, after I had time to finish making some room for his stuff and throwing crap away.
I was incredibly excited about the arrangement, as he could surely tell, and seeing him home made me feel as if my dreams, one by one, unwinding before me, were starting to come true, like mom one day said, “forming the start of a clear little pathway before me,through which I must walk to reach my goals”.
The first thing he did was to greet me, put his stuff down, talk to Cokie for a while, and spend some time in our room which has now become our home. That was because he said he didn’t feel quite home yet, but I loved it.
Later we found out that Steven’s BET work program doesn’t start until the end of December, so that means we’ll have these couple of crucial weeks all to ourselves.
The first few days were also very exciting and relaxing although I had to get used to sleeping early in order to lay there with him, in his arms, cradling me like I said in “The Meaning of home”, as if they were my little sweet nest, powerful and protective, purifying me, and filling me with his hugs and kisses.
We would wake up in the morning and he would take me out for breakfast, or even just stay home and lie there next to each other, and I would cuddle with him while he listened to his book.
For the last couple of days we would listen to music in the evenings with his friend Luis, and he would sing to me, laugh to me, give me the gift of his smile and laughter and make me laugh with him.
When the day came for me to go to Houston, I woke upat8:30, reluctantly, I was planning to get upat 8, but I so did not want to go, I sodidn’t want to leave those arms of his that held me so cloce, I started packing up before he came BTW, but I had to finish getting ready, and I so did not want to, so he let me stay 30 more minutes with him before he reminded me to get ready.
I thought I got everything, so when I finished, I went right back to the bed and led him wrap his arms around me for a few more minutes before we went outside.
I went outside with him and Cokie while I was waiting for my ride. When my ride came, we kissed goodbye and then I left, so reluctantly that the driver and the neighbors noticed how much I wanted to stay here.
It wasn’t until I got to the bus station when I realized that I forgot my debit card. I brought everything, but without my card I couldn’t buy my ticket. I was mad, and I called Steven and Cokie who told me they would find my card and give it to me. I then had to call mom to tell her that I couldn’t get on that bus because I forgot my card, and she was mad at me too.
“Instead of being all so in love and smitten and lose contact with reality, you should check your stuff before you leave!”.
IT was almost time for the other bus to come before Cokie finally got there. She did not only give me my card, but bought my ticket herself with her cash money.
The Stupid bus was late, and Cokie decided to help me get on the bus so she waited with me. I had to have my dad pick me up because mom was at work. I thought dad would get mad at me like my mom did, but he didn’t. He seemed to somewhat understand how love struck me and clouded my mind in such a way to make me forget the things I usually don’t forget.
Then I was glad to see my mom.
The next day was the family’s thanksgiving dinner, but I woke up with a cold but didn’t tell anyone until late at night.
The dinner was OK at the beginning, I saw my grandma and my uncle and both aunts. My little cousins were playing with other babies who were the son and daughter of a couple of my parents friends. I liked some of the food, but what I didn’t like, was how it all ended.
To start with, we all know how my dad’s drinking gets worse in family meetings and celebrations, and this was not an exception. He drank heavily and enjoyed it. But that’s not all, my cousin then started playing my ex favorite song over and over again and wanted me to sing it, but because I now hate her and did not want to sing that song I listened to my recorder and my sister helped me out by telling them I was busy talking on the phone. Then she changed it to a song we both could sing and we did, and my sister said, “See? that’s not so bad after all”. The point is that my sister knew that if I would’ve had to sing that stupid song, I was going to break down, and I was to ashamed to break down in public.
Ah, but then thanks to my sister, I didn’t have to do that, and she also gave me a CD that she recorded for me and one of her CD players.
I went to sleep afterward, and woke up to the sound of banging on the door. It was my dad fighting with my sister. She came crying up to me for help, then we realized that dad almost got in trouble for that.
Well, and now, my birthday was a mood-swinger!
It was the most unusual, out of the ordinary birthday I’ve ever had in my whole life, and that is what I liked about it.
The cool thing was that I got to see my grandma and both my aunts and little cousins on my birthday dinner planned by my grandma.
They did it on Sunday because they all knew that I was coming home for my birthday. It wasn’t much of a dinner,there wasn’t almost anything I could eat there, but mom was really happy for me and I was glad to see my family after so many months. Dad wasn’t invited because of a problem he had the night before, so I felt sorry for him but it was OK.
It all started when I came back home from the dinner and was talking to my mom while she was checking her email, she was having some trouble with the song I sent her, so I showed her my page with my poems instead. She had a hard time going through the page, finding my poems and reading the page, but she said she liked it. She told me that she saw that “Bag of Dreams” was rated 5 stars above the rest of my poems, and she voted for it to help me get more points. She enjoyed it, though she did not understand most of it,she found it beautiful.
We spent midnight together, and right at 12:00, she gave me a big hug and a kiss, told me how proud she was of me in spite of my situation at school,w ished me luck, joy and happiness, and a very happy birthday.Then I spent a few more minutes with her before we went to bed.
“Mom,could you wake me up tomorrow?”, I asked herand she said yes, buttold me I should go to bed soon for I was to to have a long day on my birthday. I danced in my room for a while before I went to bed,and then I lay still, wondering about my birthday surprise Steven and Cokie said they had planned for me, weaving the dreams of it, and asking myself: would it be flowers?, or perhaps some dancing?, would he give me a love-shower?, would he throw a party?, or perhaps simply sing me a song for my birthday?,I wondered, but I didn’t know, and I was not supposed to know until after I got home,that’s why I called it a homecoming birthday.
The dreams of it were very short,and unusual, some were exciting, some heartbreaking, but all of them were undescribable and each of them had a sense of excitement of its own.
I was barely awake until mom came to me and said breakfast was almost ready. I was a little disappointed because my little Miracle was not part of it, she hadd to go to school,and dad made my strawberry juice instead of mom,and it tasted weird. Anyway, we were together,and that was all that mattered, we made it quick because we didn’t have much time, and then mom had an appointment and I took a shower and got ready to come back home. I was waring my birthday shirt,my earrings that my cousin gave me,my necklace that my grandma gave me,my 3 star bracelet that my little sister gave me,and saved all the money I collected from after my birthday dinner. I talked to some of my family from Peru.
Before I left I collected a few festive ribbons and pom-pons, took my new CD player that my sister gave me with the CD she recorded for me, and when I was on the bus, I put the em all out and tapped my hands and feet to the beet, dancing on my seat, with the pom-pons decoration, I tied a tight bow string and pinned it to my shirt.1 hour, 2 hours,passed, no phonecalls from almost anybody,I started getting a little upset.
Then I called Steven, only to find out he was on his game.and was mad because he didn’t even tell me happy birthday.When mom called she noticed the distress in my voice and went right to the point when she asked me if Steven hasn’t called me to wish me happy birthday, I was crying, and didn’t dare to answer, just hung up.
“Party’s over!”, I thought, “I’ll get home, he’s gonna be in the game or listening to his book,I’m gonna go to bed,it’s all over!”
I called Cokie hoping she would help me feel better about it, but she just laughed because I didn’t know about the surprise that awaited me, I asked her what was so funny, she said I was. I was crying on my way home, and even the driver noticed.
I then got home, put everything down and was very mad and almost cried on him because he didn’t wish me happy birthday.
He said he was just playing the game until I got home, but I still thought it was not a good excuse.
“OK, then I’ll get back on the game”, he told me, and I said, “OK, then I’m going to bed”, “No”, he said, “you’re gonna get up”, so I got up and followed him, still angry at him for not remembering my birthday. He pointed to the table and said: “Close your eyes, it’s a surprise.”, he said with a cute voice, that one that touches me deeply everytime I hear it.
Then he put my hands on the table, and guided them to the vase sitting on the tableclot, right beside my computer’s speakers. “A bottle”, I thought, “Maybe it’s just champagne”. Then he put it up to my nose and told me to smell it, but to my bad luck,my nose was stuffed so I had some trouble smelling it,but it sure smelled good.
Then he told me to feel up at the top, and I felt them, the flowers, very, very beautiful arrangement of roses with a balloon at the very top, tied to a tight bow string, and a drawing that said “best wishes. My heart leaped up with joy!
I was also very surprised and stunned, and very, very happy.
“They’re beautiful!” I said, but that was not all, Cokie bought some whole graincake, orange and apple flavor,2 paper platesfor Steven and I, she bought apple juice, some sparkling grape juice,a fruit bowl, and Steven gave me a t’shirt he got me for my birthday.
That still wasn’t all, but he also gave me what he called, “birthday loven”. Which was hotter and more exciting than ever.
First he told me to not move while he undressed,that he would take my clothes off himself, so I would be able to feel his big beautiful hands actually doing the work for me.
We were standing face to face in the room, like if we were going to dance, instead we were quiet, not moving, just the way he likes it.
Hehugged me, then kissed me with a veryobvious passion,first softly and tenderly,then strong, passionately, and beautifully, I was delighted.
Then he took my shirt off, those hands of his working its way out off my hands by the sleves, held up high.
Then he unbuckled my bra, not before moving his hands up and down my back, caressing me, touching my back tenderly. As he did this, he showered it with tender little kisses that were as cute as himself. Then my neck and my breasts, he sucked on them, played with them.
Then my pants and underware fell off, and he showered that little part with kisses and licking as well, then caressed it and worked it with his powerful fingers until I was so excited I felt I could explode at any minute.
He took my sucks off, too. He kissed me again and again, from head totoe, and held me very tight before he finally put it on me and led his passion mix in with mine.
It wassuch a sweet feeling of pleasure and excitement and ecstacy, I was involuntarily pressing against him, feeling him fill me up with all of his strength and spirit, heal me.
When we were done,I gasped and said: “That deserves a dance.
I felt like I needed a dance, badly, I was overexcited, so hyper I thought I could just sing and dance and jump all night long.
That was how great it was, our anniversary is coming pretty soon and I’m almost ready for it.
Laters
H I L
Steven Came home on the 22nd, just a little after 10, after I had time to finish making some room for his stuff and throwing crap away.
I was incredibly excited about the arrangement, as he could surely tell, and seeing him home made me feel as if my dreams, one by one, unwinding before me, were starting to come true, like mom one day said, “forming the start of a clear little pathway before me,through which I must walk to reach my goals”.
The first thing he did was to greet me, put his stuff down, talk to Cokie for a while, and spend some time in our room which has now become our home. That was because he said he didn’t feel quite home yet, but I loved it.
Later we found out that Steven’s BET work program doesn’t start until the end of December, so that means we’ll have these couple of crucial weeks all to ourselves.
The first few days were also very exciting and relaxing although I had to get used to sleeping early in order to lay there with him, in his arms, cradling me like I said in “The Meaning of home”, as if they were my little sweet nest, powerful and protective, purifying me, and filling me with his hugs and kisses.
We would wake up in the morning and he would take me out for breakfast, or even just stay home and lie there next to each other, and I would cuddle with him while he listened to his book.
For the last couple of days we would listen to music in the evenings with his friend Luis, and he would sing to me, laugh to me, give me the gift of his smile and laughter and make me laugh with him.
When the day came for me to go to Houston, I woke upat8:30, reluctantly, I was planning to get upat 8, but I so did not want to go, I sodidn’t want to leave those arms of his that held me so cloce, I started packing up before he came BTW, but I had to finish getting ready, and I so did not want to, so he let me stay 30 more minutes with him before he reminded me to get ready.
I thought I got everything, so when I finished, I went right back to the bed and led him wrap his arms around me for a few more minutes before we went outside.
I went outside with him and Cokie while I was waiting for my ride. When my ride came, we kissed goodbye and then I left, so reluctantly that the driver and the neighbors noticed how much I wanted to stay here.
It wasn’t until I got to the bus station when I realized that I forgot my debit card. I brought everything, but without my card I couldn’t buy my ticket. I was mad, and I called Steven and Cokie who told me they would find my card and give it to me. I then had to call mom to tell her that I couldn’t get on that bus because I forgot my card, and she was mad at me too.
“Instead of being all so in love and smitten and lose contact with reality, you should check your stuff before you leave!”.
IT was almost time for the other bus to come before Cokie finally got there. She did not only give me my card, but bought my ticket herself with her cash money.
The Stupid bus was late, and Cokie decided to help me get on the bus so she waited with me. I had to have my dad pick me up because mom was at work. I thought dad would get mad at me like my mom did, but he didn’t. He seemed to somewhat understand how love struck me and clouded my mind in such a way to make me forget the things I usually don’t forget.
Then I was glad to see my mom.
The next day was the family’s thanksgiving dinner, but I woke up with a cold but didn’t tell anyone until late at night.
The dinner was OK at the beginning, I saw my grandma and my uncle and both aunts. My little cousins were playing with other babies who were the son and daughter of a couple of my parents friends. I liked some of the food, but what I didn’t like, was how it all ended.
To start with, we all know how my dad’s drinking gets worse in family meetings and celebrations, and this was not an exception. He drank heavily and enjoyed it. But that’s not all, my cousin then started playing my ex favorite song over and over again and wanted me to sing it, but because I now hate her and did not want to sing that song I listened to my recorder and my sister helped me out by telling them I was busy talking on the phone. Then she changed it to a song we both could sing and we did, and my sister said, “See? that’s not so bad after all”. The point is that my sister knew that if I would’ve had to sing that stupid song, I was going to break down, and I was to ashamed to break down in public.
Ah, but then thanks to my sister, I didn’t have to do that, and she also gave me a CD that she recorded for me and one of her CD players.
I went to sleep afterward, and woke up to the sound of banging on the door. It was my dad fighting with my sister. She came crying up to me for help, then we realized that dad almost got in trouble for that.
Well, and now, my birthday was a mood-swinger!
It was the most unusual, out of the ordinary birthday I’ve ever had in my whole life, and that is what I liked about it.
The cool thing was that I got to see my grandma and both my aunts and little cousins on my birthday dinner planned by my grandma.
They did it on Sunday because they all knew that I was coming home for my birthday. It wasn’t much of a dinner,there wasn’t almost anything I could eat there, but mom was really happy for me and I was glad to see my family after so many months. Dad wasn’t invited because of a problem he had the night before, so I felt sorry for him but it was OK.
It all started when I came back home from the dinner and was talking to my mom while she was checking her email, she was having some trouble with the song I sent her, so I showed her my page with my poems instead. She had a hard time going through the page, finding my poems and reading the page, but she said she liked it. She told me that she saw that “Bag of Dreams” was rated 5 stars above the rest of my poems, and she voted for it to help me get more points. She enjoyed it, though she did not understand most of it,she found it beautiful.
We spent midnight together, and right at 12:00, she gave me a big hug and a kiss, told me how proud she was of me in spite of my situation at school,w ished me luck, joy and happiness, and a very happy birthday.Then I spent a few more minutes with her before we went to bed.
“Mom,could you wake me up tomorrow?”, I asked herand she said yes, buttold me I should go to bed soon for I was to to have a long day on my birthday. I danced in my room for a while before I went to bed,and then I lay still, wondering about my birthday surprise Steven and Cokie said they had planned for me, weaving the dreams of it, and asking myself: would it be flowers?, or perhaps some dancing?, would he give me a love-shower?, would he throw a party?, or perhaps simply sing me a song for my birthday?,I wondered, but I didn’t know, and I was not supposed to know until after I got home,that’s why I called it a homecoming birthday.
The dreams of it were very short,and unusual, some were exciting, some heartbreaking, but all of them were undescribable and each of them had a sense of excitement of its own.
I was barely awake until mom came to me and said breakfast was almost ready. I was a little disappointed because my little Miracle was not part of it, she hadd to go to school,and dad made my strawberry juice instead of mom,and it tasted weird. Anyway, we were together,and that was all that mattered, we made it quick because we didn’t have much time, and then mom had an appointment and I took a shower and got ready to come back home. I was waring my birthday shirt,my earrings that my cousin gave me,my necklace that my grandma gave me,my 3 star bracelet that my little sister gave me,and saved all the money I collected from after my birthday dinner. I talked to some of my family from Peru.
Before I left I collected a few festive ribbons and pom-pons, took my new CD player that my sister gave me with the CD she recorded for me, and when I was on the bus, I put the em all out and tapped my hands and feet to the beet, dancing on my seat, with the pom-pons decoration, I tied a tight bow string and pinned it to my shirt.1 hour, 2 hours,passed, no phonecalls from almost anybody,I started getting a little upset.
Then I called Steven, only to find out he was on his game.and was mad because he didn’t even tell me happy birthday.When mom called she noticed the distress in my voice and went right to the point when she asked me if Steven hasn’t called me to wish me happy birthday, I was crying, and didn’t dare to answer, just hung up.
“Party’s over!”, I thought, “I’ll get home, he’s gonna be in the game or listening to his book,I’m gonna go to bed,it’s all over!”
I called Cokie hoping she would help me feel better about it, but she just laughed because I didn’t know about the surprise that awaited me, I asked her what was so funny, she said I was. I was crying on my way home, and even the driver noticed.
I then got home, put everything down and was very mad and almost cried on him because he didn’t wish me happy birthday.
He said he was just playing the game until I got home, but I still thought it was not a good excuse.
“OK, then I’ll get back on the game”, he told me, and I said, “OK, then I’m going to bed”, “No”, he said, “you’re gonna get up”, so I got up and followed him, still angry at him for not remembering my birthday. He pointed to the table and said: “Close your eyes, it’s a surprise.”, he said with a cute voice, that one that touches me deeply everytime I hear it.
Then he put my hands on the table, and guided them to the vase sitting on the tableclot, right beside my computer’s speakers. “A bottle”, I thought, “Maybe it’s just champagne”. Then he put it up to my nose and told me to smell it, but to my bad luck,my nose was stuffed so I had some trouble smelling it,but it sure smelled good.
Then he told me to feel up at the top, and I felt them, the flowers, very, very beautiful arrangement of roses with a balloon at the very top, tied to a tight bow string, and a drawing that said “best wishes. My heart leaped up with joy!
I was also very surprised and stunned, and very, very happy.
“They’re beautiful!” I said, but that was not all, Cokie bought some whole graincake, orange and apple flavor,2 paper platesfor Steven and I, she bought apple juice, some sparkling grape juice,a fruit bowl, and Steven gave me a t’shirt he got me for my birthday.
That still wasn’t all, but he also gave me what he called, “birthday loven”. Which was hotter and more exciting than ever.
First he told me to not move while he undressed,that he would take my clothes off himself, so I would be able to feel his big beautiful hands actually doing the work for me.
We were standing face to face in the room, like if we were going to dance, instead we were quiet, not moving, just the way he likes it.
Hehugged me, then kissed me with a veryobvious passion,first softly and tenderly,then strong, passionately, and beautifully, I was delighted.
Then he took my shirt off, those hands of his working its way out off my hands by the sleves, held up high.
Then he unbuckled my bra, not before moving his hands up and down my back, caressing me, touching my back tenderly. As he did this, he showered it with tender little kisses that were as cute as himself. Then my neck and my breasts, he sucked on them, played with them.
Then my pants and underware fell off, and he showered that little part with kisses and licking as well, then caressed it and worked it with his powerful fingers until I was so excited I felt I could explode at any minute.
He took my sucks off, too. He kissed me again and again, from head totoe, and held me very tight before he finally put it on me and led his passion mix in with mine.
It wassuch a sweet feeling of pleasure and excitement and ecstacy, I was involuntarily pressing against him, feeling him fill me up with all of his strength and spirit, heal me.
When we were done,I gasped and said: “That deserves a dance.
I felt like I needed a dance, badly, I was overexcited, so hyper I thought I could just sing and dance and jump all night long.
That was how great it was, our anniversary is coming pretty soon and I’m almost ready for it.
Laters
H I L
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