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Yei!, my trial month is over, I’m back home. It has been the hardest thing I’ve had to do so far, and I owe to Britany the fact that I’m still alive and well.
Like Steven and I agreed to, I’ve absolutely would’ve died if:
I would’ve lost his love now and broke up with him.
2. lost of hope of coming back home and
3. Didn’t have Britany talking to me during this hard time.
I’ve endured so much during the whole month, missing Steven, family conflicts, my parents fighting, not being able to do things for myself, being sick, doctor’s appointments, etc. I also owe some of my still being alive to my mom, because I think she knows it’s been so hard for me and helped me through by cheering me up, taking me out to the mall, and spending time with me when she could. She and Britany had been my solid rock I could lean on, to endure all the crap of that time, and I think that really strengthen our newfound friendship, go Britany!
My little sister also helped a little, but the most important thing was that I made it home safe and sound, and with a big smile on my face, worth all the tears I cried.
I got really sick before my time in Houston was up, right after Monday, but I didn’t tell my parents until after Tuesday
Once I told them, they got really worried about me, so I stayed in bed for most of those days, stayed up at night talking to Britany, and thinking of Steven, and then slept all morning. It was like that until one of those mornings, when I couldn’t sleep because of my bad cough, headache and fever. I also had a very strong diarrhea that had to be stop with an herbal tea. It was then when mom gave me a medicine to help me sleep through the night, so I couldn’t stay up, and that made it worse for my aching heart because I felt like I was losing my supportive friend and that I had no dreams anymore, and no reason to live. I was lucky that Steven and I were talking again, and I knew that he by then was missing me badly enough too and wanted to see me again.
Then came Thursday and Friday, and by Friday afternoon I was all packed up and ready to go.
Mom was a little sad to see me go, but she knows I needed to come home, so she wished me the best of times with my love and gave me a goodbye kiss before I left. My little sister went along with my dad and I to the bus station, and she said she wanted to see me again soon.
It was a fun busride home, half of the time I was talking to a musician, a guy that was sitting beside me, and he heard me recite a couple of my poems and asked for my poetry website.
The other half of the ride I was talking to Bianca, my ex roommate, and when the driver finally said we were in Austin, we were screaming “home, home, sweet home!” “I’m home!”, I was saying with lots of joy in my heart, that everyone next to my seat knew of my wonderful excitement about coming home and they agreed with me,”sweet, sweet home!”
I took one of the cabs waiting in the back, and the driver helped me with my suitcase and my keyboard. Then, to my surprise, as soon as I got home, I opened the door and heard Steven right beside the door, just like I used to wait for him when he came to see me in the weekends. I wanted to lean down and kiss him right away, I was terribly anxious of him, but instead he himself helped me to put away my stuff, flung me into the bed, and slowly and tenderly began to hug me and kiss me. I was so anxious that my hands were trembling, almost aching to touch him, and my heart almost felt like a drum when he kissed me and hugged me with those beautiful hands, vainly trying to fake indifference.
Then he showed me his new guitar and I tried to play a little tune. Then we both stripped before getting into the shower.
“Wow, a love shower!”, I thought.
When we were ready, we got in, and I started slowly again, to touch him all around, feeling all his charms right in front of me, his beautiful hair, his strong, warm arms, his irresistible, tall body I cannot resist once I put my hands on him, especially when he’s naked. At once I begun doing a little dance in the shower, and feeling his love by the way he wrapped his arms around me, let him hold me and carry me into him so that he could make love to me in the shower. I let him bounce me into him, felt all his energy and spirit coming back to me and heal me in an instant, and when he was ready, I got on my hands and knees andfelt him finish what he started. I think I took a little too much of him, I was so anxious, so excited to have him back and so hungry for him, that I couldn’t control myself and I think he couldn’t either, but as soon as we were done, he was almost breathless, and said he had to get out because he was feeling like he was going to pass out.
After a minute or two, I got up and finished my shower, and after I was done, I put somelotion onso I could smell good for him, and a little perfume.
Then I got back to the room,and we got dressed and then his friend Luis came and helped us order food. Steven found me a salad that was very coolio, and he had his usual burger and then we ate our dinner. Then Steven showed Luis his new guitar, and then we did those little things that made the day, we sung 2 songs together, at the second one he got too excited, stopped singing almost at the end and kissed me. It was the song he sung for me the first time we spent a night together. I almost cried too, but I put my arms around him and pulled him closer to me while we kissed again and again. His friend Luis admired this sight of us and thought it was cute.
But then Luis had to leave and the party was almost over, but not before going to bed with him and making love again. I was doing it to him this time, on top of him, swimming on him, riding him not like a horse, but like a cowboy.
It left me out of breath, full of ecstacy and energy and almost motionless at the same time, like if at that moment I only had strength to pull him cloce to me and hold him tight, tight enough to feel the beat of his heart against me as though trying to hear it telling me how much he missed me. My mind was perfectly clear of everything but him, and after this brief exhaustion that came along with my passion and quickly went away, I felt like dancing and writing. So I came here, talked to Cokie for a while, and started writing something on the computer, but I couldn’t finish it, I wanted to be lying cloce to him again , so I went to bed.

Note: I now have a job, I’m his little housewife. I already feel like I am, but this is only the very beginning of my new life with him.

Laters:
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