New Year's Dream

New Year's Dream

Before I came to Houston, I was very afraid of having to be without him for a month, so I got us a trip to the mall, just the both of us, for almost half the day that Saturday. I'm glad mom agreed on me coming in Sunday, otherwise we wouldn't have had time.
So We went, Cokie and I stayed up til 3:00 the night before, and I was all the more excited about our trip together.
We got up, just a little before 11, and then we went to a music store before we head out for lunch.
After lunch, He took me to Forever 21, where I looked at beautiful dresses, jewelry and skirts, and imagined myself wearing one of them with my high-heal dancing shoes. That’s where I got the idea of the dress I wore in my new-year's dream, which I will explain later.
Then Steven bought flavor candles and 2 necklaces, 1 for him, 1 for me. The one he bought me has a chrystal quars, and he said is to keep all evil away from me and so that I’ll have good luck. He also gave me a keychain, and he told me it was to keep me from having bad dreams, and so far, it works.
Then we came back home and spent as much time together as we could that night before I came to Houston

The next morning he made love to me to cheer me up, I was perfectly happy with him, yet I was sad at the same time because I wasn't going to be with him for such a long time.
Then I came here, and although I was happy to see my family, I was sad about leaving him for so long, also because I knew that Morgan was going to spend newyear's eve with him and not me. He said they were only going to get drunk together, but no one ever knows what happens when 2 people get drunk together, and without Cokie being there, I thought it a disaster.
Christmas itself was the start of a knew torture, not to mention that I hated Christmas since the day I had to spend it in the hospital.
Besides, I also knew that Morgan was going to spend newyear's eve with him, and felt glad I wasn't there to witness it.
When I went to their get-together for Christmas, my whole family could tell that I was worried about me not seeing Steven for a whole month, and the talk of it among themselves was like the pain of a stinging wound when you rub alcohol on it to clean it up.
It wasn't so bad, however, not as bad as the days after Crhistmas, when my sleepless nights started, one after another.
I wouldn't have endured it as well if it wouldn't have been for Britney, a friend from ACC who is now my knew special nightfriend. She calls me up at night and stays up late with me talking on the phone, and sometimes even sleeps with me on the phone. It helps me greatly, and aliviates my aching heart and keeps me from thinking I should die instead of enduring this.
She knows how much I suffer, and I think I should find a special way to thank her for her kind work to this lovesick friend of hers.
She often says she’s like that because she likes to help the poor, the sad and the hungry, and these days I have been really sad and really depressed, especially during the holidays.
Anyway, we talk a little bit of everything, but talking to her and other nightfriend have given me an idea.
I always try to make the best of a bad situation, so I had to come up with a plan to prevent myself from crying in Newyear's eve, instead of staying up with everyone else, and think about how much fun Steven and Morgan were going to have together, I decided we were going to have a Newyear's dream-date in dreamland. A few days before New-year's eve, I talked to him in my dreams and told him that I'd like to have a Newyear's dream-date with him so that we could be together for new-years eve.
He agreed, but since I wasn't sure my family would aprove to this, I told him that I wasn't sure I was going to come. He said that was fine.
Then I told everybody I was going to spend new-year's eve asleep.
I convinced my mom by saying that he was going to do the same because he had to go to work, which she reluctantly approved to.
Mom and dad, at first, thought it was foolish for me to spend new-year's eve in my sleep because I was braking the family's tradition, but then, respecting my decision, gave me permision to stay at home. Dad thought I was doing it just to spend new-year's on the phone, talking to my friends, and I could've done that instead. But the plan was for me to feel as cloce to Steven as I possibly could so that I wouldn't feel so bad about him spending it with that girl instead of with me, and also so that I wouldn't miss him enough to feel like I wanted to die.
I stayed with my little sister before my parents came, and then I said goodbye to them and wished them a happy newyear, My mom left me a cup with warm milk, and I had it, hoping it would help me go to sleep before 12, made the bed, put my PJ's on, sprayed the room, and left the door open as if Steven was coming here to take me away. Then I got under the covers, got all those things that remind me of my love for him such as the notes, my dream-catcher keychain, my chrystal quars, and the chunk of Steven's hair that I got from the trashbag before I came.
I got under the covers, sang "Meet Me Tonight in Dreamland", and then lay down, trying to go to sleep as fast as I could. Even so, I couldn't get there at 12, so I was late for the party by 30 minutes.
He told me I missed the fun part, but it was fine with him.
My dream was ausom, and it seemed almost real.
I dreamed we were on a far away beach party, with all our friends, (Except for Morgan).
Even though I missed the fun part, which was when 12 came and it was time for the countdown, the fireworks and everything else, he danced with me, twerreling me around as if he was really desperate to see me too, spinning me around and kissing me passionately when he took me in his arms. Our friends were witnesses of our love, and they sang in the backround when we sang together by the campfire. Birds awoke to our beautiful song, and sung along with us. For the dance, I was wearing one of those ruffled dresses I saw at Forever 21, with shining earrings in the shape of stars, and a golden necklace with the shape of a heart on it that read "Love" at the top. Apart from all of those many laces and jingling adornments of my dress that jingled when we danced, I was wearing my dancing shoes. I felt so beautiful, but of course, it was a dream.
After we danced for the first couple of hours being cheered by the crowd, we sat down together, built a big sandcastle beside the sea and just smiled at each other and kissed each other like we did the first day we kissed.
Then we pulled down our tent, he lighted some flavored candles, (which I didn't know why since the flowers and the sea alone were delighting us with their sweet fragrances and perfume), then he made a bouquet of flowers for me and we cuddled by them, kissed, hugged, kept each other warm, made each other laugh, and all those little things that mean so much to me.
We had some country music in the backround, and then we just lay still, forgetting about the world and paying attention to nothing else but each other.
Then, when we were just about to make love, I hear someone opening the door to my room (in real life) and woke up. It was mom, who was just coming to check on me. I wanted to go back to sleep but I couldn't, and it was about 3 when she woke me up.
I called Britany and wished her happy new-year, then we talked for a while about the dream, and she fell asleep.

It was the coolest dream I've ever had, of all dreams. I still miss him more dearly than ever, and still will need as much help as I can get, but that dream made me feel a whole lot better and mom could tell this as well.

Note: Mom can already tell I miss him, just by looking at me.
She said we were going to buy him a gift, maybe that could help me to feel a little better.

Laters:

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