A smingin of hope

It’s been so many days before I talked to Philippe again, and now I know why.
He called me yesterday, when I was still asleep, and told me that he still doesn’t know when his wife is coming back.
“She’s going to court on Thursday, so we have to wait until then to find out when she’ll be back. It could be next Friday, or it could be 3 years from now, we don’t know”. In my mind I was thinking: Good, at least there’s some hope for us, even if it’s a smingin of hope that could be gone by next week.
He also told me that Steven may not be the right one for me, and that he wants to help me find somebody else. I cried at the thought,who does he think I am?, a hoar?
And what if that new person does the same thing he did to me?, I don’t feel like I’m fit to love anyone else ever again, my heart is wounded!
I discussed these thoughts with him, but he doesn’t seem to get it, he doesn’t really understand that he is that special someone, He is the one I’ve been waiting for all my life. I thought it was Steven, but if Steven isn’t the one, then who?
All I hope and pray for now is that she stays there as long as possible, or that she leaves him and goes back home to her family.
If that happens, I know he will feel lonely again, and he would probably take a chance on me for a few years before he decides whether he would stay with me, or go to his wife.
Well, got to go now, more updates about this and other stuff next week.
Laters:
H I L, a smingin of hope is better than nothing at all!