She's coming back!

I think it’s about time he told me the truth. All of this week, I’ve been thinking about him, picturing us together, trying to get over Steven to be with him, trying to learn some French, etc, for nothing! I was even looking forward to him coming to meet my parents some day!
It all started when I called him on Wednesday night, I was just waking up by then, and then we’ve been talking for a while before he told me the inevitable: “I don’t really want to say this,” he said, “but I cannot be with two people at the same time, I cannot be with my wife and with you, I have to make a decision and I know it’s going to hurt”.
“what do you mean?”, I asked him.
“You know I’ve become very attached to you , I like you and I miss you, but I have to be true to you and to myself, I’m sorry”. With tears in my eyes, I asked him, “Is she coming back?”
“soon, she’s coming back soon, in 3 months. I’m sorry, I know you’re crying, I really didn’t want to hurt you.”
“did you just find out that she’s coming back?”, I asked him.
“No, I knew all along that she was coming back but I didn’t think she would come back to me.
I just didn’t want to hurt you, I’m sorry”. He kept saying. “I’m crying too, so I’ll call you tomorrow. Goodnight”.
I lay in my bed speechless, and it felt to me like if I could no longer trust anyone, as if I am no good for love anymore. I can only wish, I thought, and dream about him and maybe I should just love him in secret and do things with him that I can’t tell anyone, just him and me. We could’ve been so happy together!
I called Bianca and told her what just happened, and she told me that I shouldn’t consider going back to Steven, though I can try.
I cried all night after that and I talked to Britaney, and when I told Cokie about it, she just said:
“I told you, he’s married”.
Yesterday I called Steven because Britaney said I should call him, but I don’t think he will forgive me anymore, maybe we should just be friends with both of them, but if he doesn’t forgive me, then I am staying here with my parents and avoid getting hurt even more.

Well, there’s no more to tell, so I’ll write more next week.


Desperate H I L. Will I ever find true love?